May Flash Fiction: Fake It by Charles Opara

Fake It
Charles Opara
Theo breaks out in a maniacal laughing fit and the top layer of my skin turns into slough. Everyone’s looking at us. Heck. I dont know what to do. Looks like she’s choking but, no, I cant give her the liquor I’m holding up. So I rush to the kitchen to get her a glass of water and, I swear to God, Ill throw it on her face if she doesn’t stop her madness.
From the kitchen, I can hear Theo, but I cant make out what she’s saying. I think sheentertaining the guests because they respond by laughing. Laughing real loud. Strange. I wouldnt exactly call my wife jokey. The funny thing is, shes funny when shes not trying to be, and hilarious when pathetic. Presently, I think ‘pathetic’ and I think…nah! She couldn’t. My forehead becomes the new faucet, as I hurry back to the parlour.
Her audience slinks as soon as I arrive. I hand her the glass.
“What was that about? I mumble in her ear. All I did was ask what sign she was giving off, after she pointed out which couples were really close and which ones weren’t, and explained that, at parties, a woman’s body language gave clues to her sex life, clues only another woman would know.
Charles Opara is a speculative fiction novelist currently finishing his first novel. He writes short stories of a much wider range of genres, some humorous. He is a programmer based in Port Harcourt, Nigeria, and a member of the Association of Nigerian Authors, Port Harcourt Chapter. He remains captivated by the logic in writing stories and programs. In 2014, his horror short story, “It Happened”, was shortlisted for the Awele Creative Trust Prize in his home country, Nigeria.