August Flash Fiction: Insomnia by Nicole Jean Turner

Insomnia

Nicole Jean Turner

I think the worst part of insomnia has nothing to do with the lack of sleep but everything to do with the obsessive hunger for everything that is innately inappropriate. It’s 1:00 AM, and I desire cupcakes filled with hot fudge and topped with waffle style French fries. It’s 2:00 AM, and I desire a lap dance from a Russian mail-order bimbo that ends with deep self-reflection of my financial situation. It’s 3:00 AM, and I desire to get in a car and drive as far east as the tank will go, forget about my life and job here and become a nomad. A gypsy. What’s stopping me, I don’t really know.

I do not just desire these things though, I crave them. I toss and turn and ache for them with spiders crawling underneath my skin, begging me to get up and get them. It’s 4:00 AM, and I want to call Anna Matthews from high school and profess my everlasting desire to hug her just once. No one has ever loved me and I just know she would. It’s 4:30 AM and I’m staring at the dark wall whispering recitals of unrequited love.

And I still want those French fries.

It’s 5:00 AM and I want not a blink of sleep, but have every desire to run naked and free and wild until someone comes to get me.

Insomnia is no hell for the creative thinkers. It’s an open box of fresh crayons and an endless supply of blank paper.

It’s 6:00 AM and I cease to desire anything but to turn off the terribly mocking blip-blip-bleep.

It’s 7:00 AM, visiting hours, and all I want is to speak. To tell them all, it’s true, a coma is the opposite of never ending sleep.

Nicole Jean Turner is a young poet from New England, who believes that everything she writes is therapeutic in some way. She does not know when she began to write, but knows that no matter where her life takes her, through the many career paths that she’s followed, that they always lead her back to writing. Poetry for Nicole is not an escape from the world around her, but a magnifying glass pointed at the cracks on the road she walks. Nicole has a vocational certificate in computer programming, and is an editor for the Salamander literary journal of Le Moyne College. She writes for a personal online blog, and regularly appears in the Syracuse Underground Poetry Spot to read and perform slam poetry. When she’s not writing, Nicole engages her mind with photography, philosophy and dog walking.